Village life Magyar style

Finally, the day of my visit to the Hungarian countryside dawns and we set off for Fertoszintmiklos to lunch with Ishtvans parents, his dogs, cats and rabbits. I'm given a quick snapshot of the community: 3,500 residents, 1 church, 1 school, 1 pub and 2 whorehouses. Hmmmm. Interesting?! I arrive to a warm welcome from Maria and Ishtvan senior and am captivated by their Puli (a Hungarian breed, much reminiscent of a Rastafarian rug put in the wash one time too many!), a white one, who has the best dreadlocks I've ever seen and I can't resist rummaging through his coat, tugging wily nily at the matted strands. A walking, unravelled rug! My raucous bonding with the carpet is interrupted as I'm taken around the backyard and introduced to the other cats and then to the rabbits, Susan & George (in Hungarian naturally, but my keyboard won't cooperate). Susan and George look like small dogs and are definitely not the sort of bunnies you'd like to meet after dark. Timid they might be, but their size is so formidable, I'm not even thinking lunch!

There's time for a quick tour of the village before lunch, and I check out the vineyards, the graveyard (a tad disconcerting to come across tombstones with a date of birth and no date of death!! Talk about early reservations..) and awww at the quaint little chapel across the whorehouse. Naturally, I think it's a fitness club, catchily called X-Itness and can't understand Ishtvan's rather rude description of the lady going in as 'whore'! I look at him wonderingly and he explains she's probably from Ukraine. Yeah so? My confusion gets through to him and he informs me that X-itness is the other whorehouse in the village. I gasp like a giddy schoolgirl. No way!! I thought that was a fitness club! Apparently, so did he when he went to get membership the first time...! Once I'm drying my tears at that conversation, I notice a sign on the building next door for 'exercise'. Apparently, that's the legitimate exercise studio, very handily situated right next to the building with 'Wellness' and 'Xitness' painted all over the front. These village Hungarians I tell you! Lots of Austrians moving here and the border being 10 km away doesn't divert suspicion....

We go home so I can gush over and smush Oxford Circus the newest addition to the household who is allowed indoors for the express purpose of our amusement. Lunch is served, and I'm beginning to think they might be Bengali's in disguise. I ask if this is customary or if it's been laid on to impress the Indian... Nope, just Sunday lunch it seems. Right.... the soup starts us off, and then the dishes keep coming. Schnitzel, fried chicken, uborka salad, creamed mushrooms, fried potatoes, chicken baked with bacon, cheese, fennel and carrots and rice. I'm urged to eat everything but leave room for dessert. I can tell this is going to be an exhausting afternoon. The uborka salad is yummy and simple enough for me to make (incidentally, that is one of the politer words I acquired on day 1. Uborka = cucumber) and goes astonishingly well with all the meats. I dutifully sample everything and gorge on the schnitzel, and then we adjourn for dessert. Marie has outdone her self with a humongous dish of tiramisu, homemade ischlers and a hazelnut Swiss roll type thingy. There's enough for twenty, but an hour and several albums of Ishtvan as a strange child with a chicken fetish later, we've managed to empty half the dish.

It's time to go, but not without leftovers! I try to be as ladylike as possible (helped by a 14 week pregnant belly) and confine myself to the baked chicken, uborka salad and a quarter of the tiramisu. We will be eating for days... (and little did I know the tiramisu would only get better day after day... would've taken the other quarter as well!). Since I am well versed with my limitations, I shall only tell you the tiramisu was a drool worthy masterpiece, and shall confine myself to an attempt at re-creating the uborka salad for warm days in Singapore.

Uborka Salad
Ingredients
Cucumber (thinly sliced) * water * vinegar * garlic (finely chopped) * salt * sugar

Method
Hungarian kids have the job of making Uborka, so it clearly has no method! Salt the cucumber and keep aside. Start with cold water and add little bits of vinegar to it along with bits of sugar, stirring and tasting till it gets to that point where you go, 'mhmmmmm'. Add the chopped garlic to this. Once the waterworks is done, squeeze the salt out of the cucumber and add. Refrigerate till you're ready to serve.

It's delicious, cool, perfect for the summer and a shockingly good accompaniment to hot meat dishes like the baked chicken, fried chicken and wiener schnitzel. This is what the Hungarians call, vegetable.