Bwaaaahaaahaahaa. You may be Bond. James Bond. But I am Jackson. Jackson "Miaaaaowww" Chaudhuri. And no meagre 00, cutie of the Queen can stop me from from my evil plans! The world is mine! I control everything and everyone and there's nothing you can do...! Bwaahahaha....
Apparently, taking a cat for a walk has a detrimental effect on my sense of the absurd, not to mention drama (which has already been known to have dodgy moments now and again). While middle age has seen me shed a lot of my previously and preciously held reservations (parental jocularity in front of friends, wearing flopping hats as protection against the sun, wearing pink, being caught dead buying spangled socks in Primark, culottes....), I find myself anxiously insisting that I'm perfectly fine walking the dog. I would have happily walked a hippo or even the unattractive pig at the animal shelter. Any animal on a lead as a matter of fact, but even middle age doesn't not allow me to insouciantly stroll down the street pushing a neon blue, mesh covered pram wheeling a cat therein. It is simply not acceptable to one's image, even if said cat happens to be a most attractive black and green eyed creature with an aura of demoniacal intent and a distinct sense of superiority.
It is superfluous to say, Jackson surveys the world through slitted eyes befitting the evil and naturally demented, megalomaniac cat who took over the world, undeterred even by his rather pedestrian chariot. Wonder if I'd be more willing to shed my inhibitions to wheel him around if he had a Batmobile or should that be a Catmobile?? Nope. Cat wheeling is definitely not on the agenda anywhere in the foreseeable future. Talk about a different perspective to the term catwalk. Miaaaaooow!
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