My knowing big city smirk at the sight of the Welton Hairstylists on the August 2009 issue transmogrifies into hand wringing hysteria. This quaint little part of Yorkshire with it's one pub and no post office is a hive of criminal activity!! My perusal of the glowing success of the Gardens Open Day and a rather strange essay entitled 'I was a police officer' is marred by the shocking news that 6 crimes were reported in the period May-June in our area. 2 burglaries from commercial premises, criminal damage (of a minor variety) to 2 commercial premises, a theft from a motor vehicle and 1 incident of being in possession of a controlled drug (Class B amphetamine), and leaves me deeply disturbed. Vinod insists that it's all happening over in Melton at the industrial estate, which would explain the emphasis on the commercial premises, but leaves me even more dubious about the seedy nature of crime in Welton!
The horoscope does little to give me confidence and I entertain grave suspicion about the Welton & Melton Ladies' Wednesday Club (2008-2009 programme was ended with all the members meeting for a strawberries and cream evening...HAH!) and am convinced that oregano (dried) in the Greek Lamb and Potatoes recipe is subliminally in inverted commas. How else could one possibly explain the other essay entitled 'Memories of Hull''???? Just as I am about to despair, my eyes alight upon the highlights from the 1926 minutes of the Welton Women's Institute, and I cannot but quote from it, "An objection was raised about the charge by Mrs Shearer of 1/- per evening for hot water. Mrs Oliver kindly offered to boil the water for tea at the monthly meetings."
My faith in village life restored, I let the Miss Marple in me take over, and take great pleasure in the note from Elaine (yours in Christ) of the St. Helen's church, "Finally another thank you - this time to Elaine Y and bob from the club - for wading in (literally!) to save the day when some one left a selection of unusual items on the island in the pond recently. As a wedding was about to start their quick response meant the items were cleared just in time for the couple to leave the church". Christie was so knowing in her depiction of the utter depravity of village England! A selection of unusual items... Indeed!
I wonder if I can persuade the boys to let me stay in the chalet during summer. Welton society begs a closer look........
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