Severe weather alerts!!

Perplexity mars my otherwise regal brow as I gaze uncomprehendingly at the little red triangle with the exclamation mark! Severe Weather Alerts! I stealthily (just in case the weather police are monitoring my reactions to their proclamation) sneak a peak out the window. Feels like another benign and warm night, devoid of any severity. I remain perplexed.

Dawn (perhaps I exaggerate a tad!) brings comprehension along with dire headlines; 'First Hottest Day of the Year', soundly backed up by profound statistics of how many people keel over due to unanticipated good weather in this country. The severity of the situation is made abundantly clear as I reach the easy to follow how to deal with the heat tips... (a) Walk in the shade (b) Drink lots of water (c) Use sunscreen...... Clearly, resources of the highest calibre have been devoted to pure research, bestowing the benefit of such poignant advice. I'm deeply appreciative to see that my hafta (protection money) to the alleged Government isn't just being used to vacuum some MP's moat.

I'm ultra observant as I head out, but the populace seems blithely unconcerned about the 'severity' of the situation. Bare headed, barely covered bodies lay strewn over available grassy patches, showing a marked lack of respect for good advice. It appears that four continuous days of bright sunshine and blue skies at this latitude can cause the human brain to addle to the point of reckless endangerment.

My satirical snarl wilts as I step into my flat. An open window makes an unconvincing play at keeping the shimmer of swat at bay. I stay motionless, but like a conquering ghost army, the stillness permeates my body, snaking it's way up to my head. It is severe, and no longer perplexes me... the Met was right, it's f***ing !