Criminal Intent

I survey the outcome of the afternoon's pillage with satisfaction. Classics mingling disdainfully with bright, flirty fun. I am pleased. Anaheeta's visit seems to have tipped my weakness for slinky lingerie onto nonsense dresses!! Hmmmmm. I vaguely wonder why my newest acquisition seems to jingle, but it's only an unexpected jab against my thigh as I flop down on the sofa that makes my antenna wiggle...... Unfriggin' believable. The tag's still on it. This, after I had to change the classic coz the tag wouldn't come off!!! Twice in two days. What are the odds??

Apparently, it wasn't enough to have to serenely return the glances of a large number of women in La Senza as my entrance set off the alarms.... An attempt to get an earlier escapee tag removed. How could I have not heard that clamouring???? I blush as I recollect my blank, incomprehension when she said I'd have to come back again... Again?? This is the first time I've walked in.... (to Boots). Riiight - everyone knows Boot's sales assistants are generally generously endowed women in tight t-shirts with La Senza scrawled across in pink. But oh no!! Yours truly was obviously occupied with far more elevated thoughts, and Anaheeta was busy windmilling an explaining of a bad mannered tag from Boots that had been setting off alarms all over Central London.....

I'm sorely tempted to write a strongly worded letter of complaint at the glaring incompetence of the stores and their bumbling staff that allows vague women to waltz around setting of alarms unchallenged! Either that, or scour eBay for a cheap tag removal gadget.... there must be something out there that'll save me having to root through all receptacles in the hope of finding a matching bill...