Cosmic phone karma

If memory serves me right (and we know how dubious a claim that can be), it was Abu Ben Adam who had a book of Gold in which he put down the names of those who were going to get into heaven. And before you call the fire brigade, it's not that I'm not ruminating over ways to get into Abu Ben's good books, but I am paying a little more attention to karmic philosophy. I've lost track of the circular debates Ma and I have had over the subject. She believes, I don't. It's ludicrous to think we're living the consequences of previous karmic actions, and our deeds in this life will dictate our next. Like I don't have enough to keep me busy in a single life!!
Yet, I am now contemplating this whole saat janam phenomena.... why? An email, graciously bestowing upon one, the great honour of being one of the chosen elite. I've been 'selected' to represent C&W in their wholesale mega pan European most co-ordinated marketing campaign as a singular firm. The exercise certainly has been a political triumph as well as a boost to business generation. But an email suggested you've been selected, can bode only ill; in fact, I feel very, very ill. My mission, whether I choose to accept it or not, is to confirm which training session I would like to attend. Training on how to take phone calls. I beg your pardon? My eyes trawl the email with more than a soupçon of attention this time. Nope. It's still there. I've been selected to undergo training on the phone. While admittedly, my dislike of the instrument is not exactly a state secret, for the new head of marketing to get wind of it???? I blithely ignore it, and move on to more pressing matters of my day job.
9 am and I'm herded into the war room. This was definitely NOT in my diary. A beaming Mr. Stone (I've never seen him unbeaming...but then he calls me Apura....) assures us it won't take more than 20 minutes. 35 minutes later, it's only the thought of her gloating that stalls my fingers from punching the number for Iris as I contemplate calling Ma for some karmic wisdom. As it turns out, not only am I expected to pick a training session, I'm also expected to sit through a couple of hours of simulation while I'm tested, recorded and forced to listen to myself.. (the answering machine never had me on it because I sound so completely alien to how I hear myself in my own head!! and I didn't quite mean that they way it sounded, but I'm really stressed now), and this is just a prelude to then having to speak to complete strangers from almost random companies turning them into happy C&W followers.
Voilà! An alternate to the perpetually smiling Hare Rama dudes that mess with my mojo; I can now convert grumpily!! What the fuck?! How did this happen?? Karma?? What else can this be except excruciating retribution for the sins of my past life? I certainly haven't sinned enough in this life to be so roundly punished, have I? Maybe if I do go rooting around for how get into that book of Gold? Would it assure me of a phone free next life? Gah! I'll deal with that when I show up again! Uh oh - is this why I have find myself agreeing to an am training session? Because I so facetiously laughed off the whole karmic cycle? I'm willing to indulge in the mindfuck of pure theology if it will get me out of making these damned phone calls. Hell, I'm willing to believe.... Abu? Help.... Please.....?