I was wrong.

There are more words.
For Binny and his family. For Hemant Karkare. For those we knew.
For all those we didn't know. Those who could just as easily have been us.

A difficult vigil dissolving into unexplained tears, numbness and shared grief. Your resilience pushed to breaking as the stalemate continued, no definitive success or end in sight. As frustrating as an exercise bike... all that pedalling and you never go anywhere. A sense of futility, which like lethargy, destroys the spirit. The shock of renewed tongues of flame brazenly dancing through a window of the heritage wing. A startling image of a ball of fire viewed through a canopy of trees. I know it's the Oberoi (untold years of philosophical debate under it's shadow watching the fingers of dawn crawl up the horizon does that to you) - how is that possible? It's confirmed. Bright flames flagrantly taunting from the 12th floor of the Oberoi. Supportive gestures from colleagues: a proffered handkerchief, a quietly tucked piece of chocolate on your desk (and one for back up), a smothering hug, an offer for home delivery. It fills more than just my heart. But it makes me feel even more powerless and vulnerable. I don't even realise I'm now walking with my head down, eyes on the ground, one foot in front of the other. Ipod playing loudly, but no body parts keeping time to the sound. The thought of writing anything abhorrent.

Texts from friends force me to think, and by the time I'm four steps from my door, I feel anger surge through me. Damned if I'm going to surrender. None of us are. This will never be their victory.
Nor will it be a production for the world stage. Recurring headlines about foreigners being targetted. That would explain the 6 out of 125 dead being foreigners. Support pouring in from all over the world. Don't belittle our loss because you have a few dead nationals. This is our tragedy, NOT yours. David Milibank's grandiose 'An attack on India is an attack on all of us'. No it's not. An attack on India is exactly that. An attack on India. And this is an attack on Bombay. Our City. Not yours. You want to support us, then do so without your human rights groups yelling foul play if we want to parade the terrorists and shoot them on camera for the world stage.
I resent anyone (especially NDTV) calling this Mumbai's 9/11. Do that and 9/11 is not a date. It's a fucking brand! Sixteen years since the '93 serial blasts, an unforgivable number of impudent assaults on our people since. Innocent victims of senseless carnage, over and over and over again. This is not the shock of 9/11 when America learnt how it felt to be assaulted on her own soil.
This is what we have lived too many times. With all due respect Dr. Singh, stay calm? While my city burns? This is NOT the time to stay calm. This is the time to say ENOUGH. We will hunt you down and eliminate you. Don't presume to think you can do what you like with my city.
This isn't the time to condemn terrorist attacks in Mumbai on Facebook. We're past mere condemnation. Leave that to the world leaders. This is our city. It's time to let them know that we will not tolerate this any longer. The audacity to think you can come to our city and wreak havoc - NO. No more. We will not allow it anymore. Where is superman when you need him? In NY, trying to get his chaddis on the right way. Bombayites/Mumbaikars. This is our fight. For our city. You hurt her, you hurt us. No more.