...and you thought you'd heard it all. Collagen mascara? What exactly are we competing for these days? Is it to coyly entice men with a flutter, or to outlash other women? So does that mean your eyelashes now look like La Jolie's pout? Which then begs the question... is that an attractive thing? Will it send masses of men into a frenzy torn between wanting to nibble on your eyes and lips? Does collagen even work on hair?! Weren't they supposed to be dead cells, or am I just anatomically challenged? I have trouble with ordinary mascara (alright, so perhaps I'm not the most feminine of women to stride the planet in her size 6 1/2's) (a) they look fake (b) they do clump (c) one keeps mislaying the little comb that's used to rid one of the clumps (d) the other implements used frighten me (they look like something the Marquis de Sade would happily use - and i'm not using any M de Sade apparatus..well, not on my eyes anyway!) (e) they keep bumping into your lenses displacing your glasses from their precarious perch on a snub nose). And now they're brining on mascara on steroids?
I have a confession. It is entirely possible that my perilous mascara pas a deux is a direct result of my rather prolonged possession of it. Reliable, if somewhat horrified sources till me that a new tube should be bought at least 2-3 times a year....Ahem. Unfortuantely, my loyal persona has seen my relationship with my mascara last longer than my marriage. Didn't someone wise say older is better? Or was that just for single malts?
Poledancing
Don't think I've used this much pink since... well, ever! Not sure how I feel about it, but it's better than the pea soup, and so much more exciting than the less than subtle polka dots. Did I mention that when I was in Chamonix, we went clubbing on Saturday night - No Escape (it really felt like that after 4 hours stuck with a bunch of 20 year olds!), and I had the most surreal experience... electronic dhuchka dhuchka dhuchka dhcukha dhuchka music which is appropriate for mystic hand waving, head bobbing and disjointed gyrating...except, I had this Pole (person not object) who insisted on dancing. And by that, I mean really dancing, full on with real steps, twirls and dips - a swinging affair if you will. I have NEVER done that in a club to an artificial beat, and judging by the looks on the faces of the people in that room, neither had anybody else :). Mortifying I'm sure, but I enjoyed myself thoroughly. Hee hee - I danced with a Pole. Not that far off the title...... rotfl.
Dammit!
I was going to call it an early night, but I've now decided that while I love green, the blog now looks like an indisposed pea soup :(. Should I leave it overnight in the off chance that someone might just glance this way, and gasp! actually leave a comment? Or just change it, so when anyone does ever read the last post, they'll just feel hallucinatory? Talk about a cheap hit :)
8 o'clock....
...and aaaall's well............. fed :P. The British can truly be proud of their pork, and I'm wiling to support whatever promotional acitivity is required to bandy about the sublime qualities of the porcine Brit! No wonder pigs are always such happy little creatures, wallowing in filth, replete with their lives, curly tails quivering, perinnial contentment writ across their piggy snouts. If I knew I tasted that good, I'd look deeply satiated all the time as well!
Dabbling....
...with some ideas for stories and the inspiration has been brought on by a healty dose of online lingerie shopping - never agree to receive newsletters!! they just hook you with the prettiest of babydolls you didn't really need and then offer you one for free!! You then spend 20 minutes scouring the site for that elusive £1 thong to get that free delivery, check all the specials, and suddenly wind up with being able to get free delivery twice over.....
First sexy undies, and now the tantalising aroma of pork loins wafting from the kitchen. Truly, there is nothing more satisfying that a happily dead pig, succulent with juices flowing, a touch of mango, apricot and coriander chutney, meandering ruminatively all over your palate...bliss. It really is too much to bear, so farewell..
First sexy undies, and now the tantalising aroma of pork loins wafting from the kitchen. Truly, there is nothing more satisfying that a happily dead pig, succulent with juices flowing, a touch of mango, apricot and coriander chutney, meandering ruminatively all over your palate...bliss. It really is too much to bear, so farewell..
STATUTORY WARNING
It has come to my attention, that this blog has been relatively benign, as while it began as someplace for me to write, it sort of became an update for the masses, which meant I had to watch my more pithy comments.
Well, I'm sorry to say, that is no longer the case. I'm taking it back, and this is just fair warning to all those eyeballing, that it may contain highly improper language and sentiment likely to offend more susecptible sensibilities. Not as a regular feature perhaps, but whenever the mood takes me...so definitely not bedtime reading for the bacchas.
Well, I'm sorry to say, that is no longer the case. I'm taking it back, and this is just fair warning to all those eyeballing, that it may contain highly improper language and sentiment likely to offend more susecptible sensibilities. Not as a regular feature perhaps, but whenever the mood takes me...so definitely not bedtime reading for the bacchas.
Chingri, O my chingri...
This is ridiculous I know - 4 posts the same night. What can I say (that was a rhetorical query), I'm on a roll, this time, inspired by a crustacean or 5.....
Eeeps! A chocolate fashion show... I think I'm going into cardiac arrhythmia...!! Detachable edible strawberries - I swear that's what they said.... see, it's not really my fault that I go off on tangents. Under these circumstances, what is a woman to do????!!!! Let some dark chocolate melt on contact with body heat, obviously. I shall return.
Now focus. It's' been a while since I've done this, but it would be criminal not to...Chingri Malai Curry. Hardly a secret to anyone with a half decent Bong pedigree, but not all of us have that privilege. Luckily, you have me :). I got this receipe off my mummy, because it's one of the best things she makes which doesn't even come close to tasting of stew! As an aside, if you want to get your grubby paws on any of my Dad's receipes, you're just gonna have to buy the book. But back to the chingri (prawn to the less perceptive), it a traditional bengali curry, with coconut and is simply scrumptious! It's best eaten with rice, even though it's quite a thick jhol (curry in bengali - that's for the Hungarian) and tastes even better the day after - make that a couple of days after. But now, without any furhter ado, let me share with you...
Ma's Chingri Malai Curry
Ingredients:
3-4 tbsp Vegetable oil * 250 gm prawns (leave the tails on – well, you could take ‘em off, but any self respecting Bong will tell you that’s where the flavour comes from) * 2 Onions (finely chopped/paste. I actually bought a mixie for this!) * 1 cup thick coconut milk (the proper way to do this would be to use real grated coconut, but I’m not very proper. Neither is my mother) * 2 Green chillies (just snap in half or leave whole) * 3 Elaichi (cardamom) * 2-3 Lavang (cloves) * 1 Tejpata (bay leaf) * Haldi powder (a smattering of turmeric) * Salt (to taste) * Milk (if required)
Method:
Lightly sprinkle salt and haldi and coat the prawns (best done with your fingers – food always tastes better when not held at spoon distance. Or yes, maybe I just enjoy messing about….). Heat 1½ - 2 tbsp of oil and quickly sauté the prawns very lightly just till they start to go opaque (shouldn’t take more than 1½ -2 min). Keep aside. Heat the rest of the oil; add the onions, and 1 elaichi & lavang, crushed. Fry till the onions turn red and the house smells delicious. This can take some time, don’t rush it, but also make sure you don’t burn them. Add the tajpata, coconut milk and stir in to mix. Throw in the prawns, the other 2 elaichis & lavangs and chillies, and bring to a gentle boil, stirring to blend. If it’s too thick, add a little milk and keep stirring – a couple of minutes, and then you’re good to go… (it's meant to be a thick gravy, so DON'T make it runny!!) or as Kolkatar Didi used to say, Jompesh kore kheyyo!
But if you want to have Apara's Chingri Malai Curry, do exactly as above, let it cool and chuck it in the fridge for 2 days.... then zap in the microwave AA-HAAA MORI!
Eeeps! A chocolate fashion show... I think I'm going into cardiac arrhythmia...!! Detachable edible strawberries - I swear that's what they said.... see, it's not really my fault that I go off on tangents. Under these circumstances, what is a woman to do????!!!! Let some dark chocolate melt on contact with body heat, obviously. I shall return.
Now focus. It's' been a while since I've done this, but it would be criminal not to...Chingri Malai Curry. Hardly a secret to anyone with a half decent Bong pedigree, but not all of us have that privilege. Luckily, you have me :). I got this receipe off my mummy, because it's one of the best things she makes which doesn't even come close to tasting of stew! As an aside, if you want to get your grubby paws on any of my Dad's receipes, you're just gonna have to buy the book. But back to the chingri (prawn to the less perceptive), it a traditional bengali curry, with coconut and is simply scrumptious! It's best eaten with rice, even though it's quite a thick jhol (curry in bengali - that's for the Hungarian) and tastes even better the day after - make that a couple of days after. But now, without any furhter ado, let me share with you...
Ma's Chingri Malai Curry
Ingredients:
3-4 tbsp Vegetable oil * 250 gm prawns (leave the tails on – well, you could take ‘em off, but any self respecting Bong will tell you that’s where the flavour comes from) * 2 Onions (finely chopped/paste. I actually bought a mixie for this!) * 1 cup thick coconut milk (the proper way to do this would be to use real grated coconut, but I’m not very proper. Neither is my mother) * 2 Green chillies (just snap in half or leave whole) * 3 Elaichi (cardamom) * 2-3 Lavang (cloves) * 1 Tejpata (bay leaf) * Haldi powder (a smattering of turmeric) * Salt (to taste) * Milk (if required)
Method:
Lightly sprinkle salt and haldi and coat the prawns (best done with your fingers – food always tastes better when not held at spoon distance. Or yes, maybe I just enjoy messing about….). Heat 1½ - 2 tbsp of oil and quickly sauté the prawns very lightly just till they start to go opaque (shouldn’t take more than 1½ -2 min). Keep aside. Heat the rest of the oil; add the onions, and 1 elaichi & lavang, crushed. Fry till the onions turn red and the house smells delicious. This can take some time, don’t rush it, but also make sure you don’t burn them. Add the tajpata, coconut milk and stir in to mix. Throw in the prawns, the other 2 elaichis & lavangs and chillies, and bring to a gentle boil, stirring to blend. If it’s too thick, add a little milk and keep stirring – a couple of minutes, and then you’re good to go… (it's meant to be a thick gravy, so DON'T make it runny!!) or as Kolkatar Didi used to say, Jompesh kore kheyyo!
But if you want to have Apara's Chingri Malai Curry, do exactly as above, let it cool and chuck it in the fridge for 2 days.... then zap in the microwave AA-HAAA MORI!
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