Alice in Wonderland

I don't know if it's eagerness or anxiety, but I'm early for my MTV Groove class at the "gym". I've changed into the XL clingy t-shirt (this time purple to match with my laces) and skulk around guiltily, unsure what one does in such a situation. At my pilates class, I catch up on the newest gossip on Branjelina and red carpet wow's. The floor I'm on, only has equipment and scary individuals doing really, really hard exercises, that elicit an odd combination of awe and disgust. I sidle towards the treadmills, pretending an interest, trying to decide between the static bikes and them. Luckily they have massive screens and a rather obvious start button and the woman next to the empty one is not running. Just a gentle walk, that I know I can keep up with so I take a deep breath and step on one for further investigations.  

I gird my loins and jab at the orange START button. It does, slowly and gently. Ok. This is good. I find the section that alludes to speed, so I crank it up. So far so good, it's a gentle stride. I try the fabled number 6, and my thighs send up rude remarks, so I turn it down a notch. I get comfortable enough to keep the pace and check out what more is on the screen. I'd noticed one of the cyclists watching TV and I was intrigued. I find it and also realize there's a skype icon! No way!! You can chat with people on skype while you walk?? Too much nice!! Since I'm clearly a newbie sans headphones (my neighbour is plugged in), I make a mental note to ping people to log into skype for a demo at the very minimum. 

The TV channels are mostly sport - golf if you can believe it (yawn), but I also do find a beautifully garish traditional Chinese soap with subtitles and get drawn in. So much more interesting than the 3 calories I've burnt so far... I can see folks gathering inside Studio 1 which is where I ought to be. They're early and I make a note to self to carry headphones next time and start checking for ways to stop this contraption 5 minutes before class begins. I'm only faintly worried at this time - what happens if I can't figure out how to stop it?!? I'm quite taken in by the rest of the technology on this machine - my memories of a treadmill are the ones where you had to start walking really, really heavily to get it to move! You've come a loooong way baby!

8 minutes before class, I'm debating what damage my credibility will suffer if I were to holler "HALP!!" in an effort to stop this machine, when my eyes rest of a large red panel button marked STOP. Aha. Maybe it is just that simple and I put my faith in the god of treadmills and go back to the soap where Missy and Huiyan are debating Ma Jiang's intentions verrry slowly. I'm at 48 calories and more people get into Studio 1. Time to crank it up and I start walking at 6 and manage to squeeze in 2 more calories before attempting the stop button and voila! It works. The machine slows down and comes to a complete halt. 

My confidence wavers somewhat as does the floor when I step off it. Uh oh! I can feel the treadmill under my feet. I very gingerly step towards Studio 1 which thankfully is not that far away, but does involve negotiations with a single step. Success and my wobble across is not apparent, I think. Time for some new torture....