Good Morning America...!

While the flight from London is a bit disconcerting when the Air Marshall turns out to be 'cabin crew' complete with drinks trolley, it does make me take a closer look at the selection on offer. From fairly standard long painted nails trollop to prison warden, each adorned in a seemingly random collection of uniforms... trousers, skirts, dresses, t-shirts, jackets... but the seats are built for XL and there's leg room to match the overhead luggage bins.

I'm pleasantly surprised by Philadelphia airports Market Place, and succumb to the offering by the little Chinese girl. Bourbon chicken on a toothpick has me hooked and I battle sleep as a shovel some good old Chinese food towards my starving belly. Tragically, flying has always found me eating before, during and after the event, but this was a deeply satisfying pit stop.


I amble over to my gate well ahead of time, trying not to gape at the man ahead of me, who reminds me of all cartoons with his oddly structured very large torso topped by a small head and supported by relatively small legs. I find an empty section and try my new resolve to get some sleep while travelling. My snooze worthy efforts are reduced to null and void in a matter of minutes as a gaggle of elder ladies delicately plonk themselves down behind me and proceed in shrill tones to discuss the gambling that will happen. I sigh and give the lounge a once over through slitted eyes, desperately seeking an avenue of escape. Table talk gives way to some serious bitching about someone else who ate soup when they got home in 100 degrees, and my head swivels with greater desperation. Hah! Little did I know...


My resigned consciousness registers a middle aged/older couple that take up residence next to me and insist on speaking with each other in extremely loud tones. I curl deeper into my seat with a low moan and thank my stars as the large husband tells his gregarious wife that the lady on his other side is reading the same book. Stig Larson's damn tattoo. I shudder at the thought but that is rapidly swamped by the soft sell of the Kindle that springs up. I wonder if they actually work for Amazon (on commissions, naturally) as wifey swaps her place next to mine to demonstrate how marvelous and space saving it is to the hapless lady who has now abandoned any reading of the novel, and that couple surrender to the verbose onslaught of the couple that just joined us all.


The hapless couple eventually leave, whether it's to really get some food or just escape the assault and go read her book, I do not know but they go armed with great insight on car rentals and prices and advice that a one way is cheaper than a return.... and our duo turns their attention to the rest of the lounge. His booming voice makes me want to smack him, but I merely breath more deeply as he starts of a conversation with this young German couple sat across (at a distance not considered in conversation range!). I now know (along with 43 others) that Laughlin on the Colorado river is a must visit because they have old cave paintings that date back to 10,000 years, that our lady doesn't have a head for heights, that you can go skiing and indulge in coffee type drinks in a chalet type environment somewhere in the mountains (my auditory senses must've blinked), next year they would be visiting either the Islands or Europe, the Islands of course being the Caribbean (where apparently they are an annual fixture... shudder!) and that the buffet on Fremont Street is the best to be had in Vegas, but it's not cheap mind you... all of $25-30 American money! Hallelujah!