Death on Facebook

The transition between one generation to the next is as subtle as it is compelling. No more obituaries in The Times, it's Facebook that delivers the news of the loss of a loved one. Twice now, I've found out about the death of a parent online. The first time was deeply upsetting as I couldn't understand why you'd have to resort to a social networking site instead of a call or email to those closest to you. While I can appreciate it's the fastest way to reach the widest audience, I find myself inexorably sliding into that generation that relies on other people that magically materialise to take the mundane away from you as you battle with your grief. Family and friends are told, hearses arranged, funerals organised, obituary written, food appears, phones are answered, questions fielded and life around you goes back to normal..... as friends, cousins, uncles, aunts, maids, drivers, in-laws, random friends of relatives, neighbours congreggate offering you their sympathy and support abdicating you of that simple yet unthinkable task of letting the world know.

Oddly ironic, but as I reach out to a friend who's lost his mother, its a heads up from another friend that drives me to Facebook and the 27 messages already posted in response to his annoucement. I don't understand it, but I'm still glad I can leave my support online.... gladder still that Anaheeta managed to find his number.