Fetch Artemis!

Tragic premonition tells me that it is highly dubious that any dog of mine will fetch anything..... but for a moment, if we were to ignore that salient fact, and move right towards testing a suitable name...

A near miss with Subbulaxmi Ranigazoo Guha Velkar; a foot high Iltutmish who along with an equally prepossessing Gilgamesh had their paws washed before getting into bed, the Caesar that jumped over my head.... The fundamental problem is that the canine I covet, doesn't remotely match my lifestyle. But for the record, when I move to Iceland, I shall accessorise with a compellingly light eyed, sexily menacing husky. Not that a Rottweiler is more suitable for my current abode, but let's just make a start, shall we!

Actually, the fundamental issue was the naming of this hypothetical creature. For the exercise, let's assume a fang baring snarl bearing dog. I like Medusa. But one most decidedly, cannot ask a Medusa to go fetch. But I still think Medusa is a good, strong name. Since one must also take cognisance of gender, I shall heave a mixed bag... Amun Ra, Darth, Anouksunamun, Thor, Attila, Isis, Aurora, Poseidon, Anubis, Uhura, Nemesis, Mufasa, Troy..... I'd like to make Attila fetch....

But what about the suffix? While Attila Guha sounds a purebred, respectable Bengali name, I'd have to move to Dhakuria. Thor Guha on the other hand, or Anouksunamun, simply won't answer. Also, any self respecting Bengali dog must, like its owner, engender blank looks amongst family members, when the a stranger to the neighbourhood demands an address to send his shrink's bill to, at the irreparable damage caused by 'Iltutmish'. But our precious Ilu couldn't say boo to an Ilish maach! All these non-Bengalis... if they ate more fish, they might be braver! Frivolity aside, one can hardly keep a straight face when a six week Mufasa falls off the sofa, or Hades pokes out of a gumboot... "aahaare, bechara mufflu sofa theke pore galo..."

This is going to take a while.... a bhery, bhery long while....