Hakuna Matata

No more worries for the rest of your days..... all very well for a garish meerkat and a flatulent warthog, but really, a lion does need more. Unimpressed by the movie, I reluctantly went for the West End production with 'ooohaaawammmaaawaaaay.. .in the jungle, the mighty jungle....' running through my head, only to deserve the pity observation at the end of the first tableaux, that for someone who didn't like musicals I seemed to be rather enjoying myself. What can I say. I have never, never been this blown away by a production. The story is still stupid, the music plah, the dialogues uninspiring and Simba, quite simply, a twat. But the production............... leaves you breathless.

The design team inspires awe in their ability to conjure up costumes and sets that reflect the fluidity of motion in the wild. Masks at the end of spine like overhangs above the head, a mix of own limbs and prosthetics, arched backs, swaying torsos, undulating necks; human and artificial blending together in such exquisite harmony, that it makes the phrase 'poetry in motion' seem trite. This was like watching the Savannah come alive, feeling the hair on the nape of your neck rise as the cheetah slinks her way through the front of the stage, the joy of watching the baby elephant hustle behind momma, the lanky giraffes, the menacing buzzards, the incoherent butterflies flitting, the twisted paradox of the hyenas, the birds roosting on the rhino. Without a doubt, the single most incredible visual unreality I have seen on stage. Watching the water hole shrink, made my throat parch with anxiety, even as the visualisation of the stampede upset my pulse.

Picturing it in my head, makes my senses leap as I wonder at the sheer genius of the innovative design, the fluidity of movement. But it does mean that the opening scene ruins you for what follows - well, perhaps I exaggerate.... but suffice to say, when that abysmal orange creature (who for some inexplicable reason is the only character that is a ventriloquists dummy!!!) shows up, boredom steps in, staved off only by the hair raising voice and presence of the strong, sultry and sensuous Nala (that's the tawt's girlfriend), Zaszu, Scar, the raging hyenas and the Magic Woman.

I have never seen anything this visually evocative or stunning on stage ever before. A gazillion times better than the film ever could be. Now if only it had been the Lioness Queen, we might have had a runaway winner....