Witch Hunting

"£50,000 per annum. Must be able to cackle and not be allergic to cats."

It occurs to me that I'm very much in the wrong game as I re-read the article. Why am I giving Guy grief about my frustrations at not being valued, when the job doesn't call for any cackling?? While I lack in several essential skills such as whistling and eyebrow raising, I am well renowned for my lack of any sort of allergies to feline creatures, and have been crossly shushed for inappropriate cackling often enough (although if I'm honest, I'd just be a sorry second to Priyé's natural talent). Still, a recession calls for some hard choices.

This could be a key career move - apparently according to the staff at Wookey Hole in Somerset, it's a straight forward role. Live in the cave, be a witch and do things witches do. "We are witch less at the moment so need to get the role filled as soon as possible". Apparently, ambitious witch varieties seeking a key career move are encouraged to show up dressed for work armed with an "essential with accoutrements". Perhaps the FDG, FGT and I should show up as a trio??

Naturally, political correctness gone mad cannot demand a woman for the job. That would be sexual discrimination unless documentary proof showing that the original witch was female can be procured. Most shortsighted of those people who insisted on using stakes. Nevertheless, interviews involving 'on-site' assessment of a range of 'standard tasks' will happen on 28th July at 1100.

Broomstick, check. Pointed hat, check. Wicked heels, check. Cackle, check. Black cat, check. Beaten cauldron, check. Gnarly fingers with shocking pink nails, check. Witch expression, check. Hissing invective, check. Funky spells, check. Proclivity towards the weird, check. That leaves me about a dozen days to work on my nose....... time to rustle up some newt tongues and bat blood. The hunt is on!