Tired.

The urge to walk into a pair of strong arms and rest against a warm body is overwhelming. How strange it is to have that sense through me as I wait for my next call. It’s been a long day and it’s not over yet. Strange when I think about what I said yesterday. That I couldn't imagine living with anyone because I need my own space. Yet, the thought of a larger apartment is what is making me unwilling to put down an offer, the sheer abundance of empty space that makes me uncomfortable, and a smaller, cozier and quirkier studio more appealing. I've always been plagued by contrary emotions and wants, but this? Where did this come from? A new place? Insular people? Disastrous office? Anything more than 1 bedroom is more than I want right now, because it just makes being alone skate too closely to feeling lonely. Cozy is good, but without feeling claustrophobic. But what’s with the wanting to go home to a hug? If there's anything I hate, it's arriving home to people talking.... and yet, here I am, my head conjuring something that sounds suspiciously like having someone around all the time. And that doesn’t sound right. I must be tired. Very tired. And hormonal.