As I sit in my favourite cafe waiting for Marnie I realise that I've never been here in the winter. The Christmas lights seem odd, but they work and the canal looks it's out of a fairy tale, the gentle flurries of snow benign in the lamplight. It shocks me a little to realise that I feel wistful, that I will truly miss this. The warm, "Hello! Its good to see you, it's been a while, have you been away?" familiarity might have set off the nostalgia, but the as I sit there waiting, I think back to the number of time vie been here, with others and by myself... And I've always enjoyed those moments, especially the solitude that encourages the gentle waft of thoughts as I sip on a warming cup of Earl Grey. Sitting here somehow always makes me reflective, but happily so, content with my own company, thoughts spilling over urging me to visit the blog and and being back after a while, brings that home rather jarringly. It's been a while since I've been on the blog but just sitting here watching the snow makes me want to string together words. The moment makes me feel positively Brontesque and not a little maudlin as I recall my, "It's my last day in London". Fact. But feels more like fiction.

Returning to Heathrow this morning left me aggrieved only as a local can be when Iris refused to play, and the easy routine of the journey home from the airport, even as the folks at Heathrow Express mercilessly extort their pounds worth. Except this is now no longer home and I feel a moment of panic... Who will I talk to, share laughter with, where will I go in Singapore? This has been home for six years. I'm going miss the inevitable silliness and raucous if utterly ridiculous evenings of our Guha Velkar foursome, the x rated confidences of the blonde and the endless discussions about everything under the sun with the Dutchman...and all that's outside of work... At work, there's or was my team, the Friday funnies, endless treats from around the world... My recent travel mates to all places exotic...when will that happen again?? My thoughts swirl like the softly falling snow and the wistfulness grows.

I hate the cold, but I will miss this beauty..... I will miss many things I think....