TV Terror

My aalo phulgobi chingri tastes shockingly good and I move my attention to my panchphoron beans. Obviously, my normally susceptible sensibilities were able to resist an utterly insincere Aishwariya Rai in Bride and Prejudice. A classic endorsement of why looks will always win over talent. I have yet to see anyone as artificial, wooden, pretentious and unidimensionally pretty as that woman, and I'm not even going to pretend to comprehend the origins of her strangely accented English. I will admit to never having liked her, but in this film... my God! She is beyond P-A-T-H-E-Y-T-I-C!

By the time I'm done with my culinary display, the beautiful one has given way to a couple of men sleeping.... with birds chirping in the early dawn. 17 past the witching hour and I settle myself down wondering what adventures their new day will bring. But they just continue to sleep.....

What on earth is this? I pay greater attention to the screen, my razor sharp mind registering twin beds, one with a hideous headboard that is a clown with an open mouth (Freud would've gone to town with this one!), white satin sheets... a rather bizarre bedroom, on E4. A stray synapse wonders if someone actually pay to have this produced? I'm dying to know if.. oh hang on - he shifted his leg... and continues to sleep. Is this just a program on some dude sleeping? My other synapses now join in the fray, and there's a lively debate on how much longer can I control my twitchy arm from reaching for the remote and making it go away? It's now been about four minutes .... no, five and a half... and they chirpy birds seem to have given way to crows, but I'm not sure if they're in the TV or in my head!!

I surrender... finger quivering over the remote.... maybe another minute.... a-ha! He turned... hand uplifted, pretending to be a bird?? Maybe this is just deeply sophisticated and existential. Uh oh, it's wavering... it falls. Fascinating. I think I'm going to eat my lovely phanchphorner aalo beanser torkari....Damn I'm good. Another synapse intervenes - could this be Big Brother? I seem to have vague recollections of someone say something about watching people sleep.... and I thought they had been kidding???? 23 past and even the panchphoron cannot save the situation.... my scientific efforts at elucidation crumbles and my fingers maul the remote. I think that sleep fest might be entitled Brothers and Sisters?? WFT?? Perhaps I shall remember to inquire around tomorrow for illumination... or perhaps not.... Hark! QI XL - all is not yet lost... Stephen and his intellgensia to the rescue!