Pati, Patni aur Woh

The age old triangular dilemma, loosely translated as husband, wife and the unmentionable…. Traditionally the source of much grief and angst, and occasionally, a pragmatic blind eye. Usually, different woh’s for either/or, but as Aashish and I moved towards sharing the same toothpaste, we seem to have gravitated to the same woh. Yes, I know, how very convivial of us to share one, but what can I say, our sophistication knows no bounds.

Unlike the cuff links I’m seeking joint custody for (don’t ask!), Aashish and I have always been very flexible with our woh. The three of us have given Bollywood a run for their money, leaned on each other for support through difficult times, grieved for Bombay together, giggled our way through a divorce, taken silliness to new heights, the latest being my adjudication of romantic gestures between the two….. but now the time has come for me to register a strident protest; the audacious woh's ambitions have expanded from my nearly ex-husband to stealing my life!! Eating my éclairs, hanging around my home in Pune, lunching with my pantheon of co-Gods and not to mention my hostess with the mostest!!

Anaheeta mollifies me with a heartfelt, ‘He can’t replace you, it’s not the same….. even Ally just left after a quick snuffle….’. Then I remember, she gave him my éclairs! The cow! Mollification part ii ensues…. , ‘Even watching him eat two of them wasn’t right…… Aashish and I kept going “something’s not right”’. Damn straight something’s not right! He’s a hell of a lot hairier than I am! Rumour even has it from certain angles, I’m a lot prettier! But Anaheeta is unstoppable; ‘….at least Gifty and Shanti will always be yours’. Yeah right, small coincidence they’re both dead!